Ja, I do.
Wow.
We're. Legally. Married.
It was everything we hoped for and more. The pictures are coming in faster than I can organize them, but I'll get some posted.
Soon.
In the meantime, please know that saying "I do" in front of your family and friends is worth fighting for.
Although we are no more committed to each other now than we were before the ceremony, something is different. We're still individuals, yet there is now a new status that attached to us the moment we married. This status comes from being a couple in legal terms and has nothing to do with being somehow superior simply because we're married. (One of my fears is that if we all finally obtain the ability to marry, there will then be a better/worse, us/them distinction between those who are married and those who aren't, but that's another post.)
From the moment we said, "I do," The Netherlands recognized us as a couple. This means that when someone deals with one of us, whether on a social or state level, they must also knowingly take the other of us into consideration. On one hand, nothing changes after marriage; on the other hand, without a marriage the "status" of being a couple is a very murky grey area, at best. At worst, it just doesn't matter.
This makes a difference, both socially and legally, in regard to a couple's rights and responsibilities.
If others treat us now only as individuals, with little or no connection or bond between us, they do so at their own peril - again, both socially and legally. This, to us, was one of the main purposes of marrying. (Oh yeah. Ian has just reminded me that the main reason for marrying was because we love each other. My bad.)
Many people who attended the wedding commented that the ceremony was truly "a wedding", with the subtext being that many weddings aren't - that sometimes people who don't have to fight for marriage don't really understand what an incredible thing a marriage is.
We don't have the luxury of taking marriage for granted.
Thanks to all of you who made it - it was unbelievable listening to the mix of languages and seeing the variety of cultures represented. The support and happiness for us was palpable.
Also, on a very personal level, I really appreciate the kindness you all showed my family. Although she didn't complain, I know the trip had to be physically very difficult for my mom. I believe any fears she had about me living in a culture different from the one I was raised in were alleviated after she saw the people who surround us here.
Again, thank you.
You rock.
Labels: Our Wedding
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