donderdag, april 28, 2005

Ja, I do.


We're. Legally. Married.

It was everything we hoped for and more. The pictures are coming in faster than I can organize them, but I'll get some posted.

In the meantime, please know that saying "I do" in front of your family and friends is worth fighting for.

Although we are no more committed to each other now than we were before the ceremony, something is different. We're still individuals, yet there is now a new status that attached to us the moment we married. This status comes from being a couple in legal terms and has nothing to do with being somehow superior simply because we're married. (One of my fears is that if we all finally obtain the ability to marry, there will then be a better/worse, us/them distinction between those who are married and those who aren't, but that's another post.)
From the moment we said, "I do," The Netherlands recognized us as a couple. This means that when someone deals with one of us, whether on a social or state level, they must also knowingly take the other of us into consideration. On one hand, nothing changes after marriage; on the other hand, without a marriage the "status" of being a couple is a very murky grey area, at best. At worst, it just doesn't matter.
This makes a difference, both socially and legally, in regard to a couple's rights and responsibilities.
If others treat us now only as individuals, with little or no connection or bond between us, they do so at their own peril - again, both socially and legally. This, to us, was one of the main purposes of marrying. (Oh yeah. Ian has just reminded me that the main reason for marrying was because we love each other. My bad.)

Many people who attended the wedding commented that the ceremony was truly "a wedding", with the subtext being that many weddings aren't - that sometimes people who don't have to fight for marriage don't really understand what an incredible thing a marriage is.
We don't have the luxury of taking marriage for granted.

Thanks to all of you who made it - it was unbelievable listening to the mix of languages and seeing the variety of cultures represented. The support and happiness for us was palpable.
Also, on a very personal level, I really appreciate the kindness you all showed my family. Although she didn't complain, I know the trip had to be physically very difficult for my mom. I believe any fears she had about me living in a culture different from the one I was raised in were alleviated after she saw the people who surround us here.
Again, thank you.
You rock.


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dinsdag, april 26, 2005

Photos from our Bachelor Party

These aren't all labeled yet, but here is a link to more photos of our bachelor Party.


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vrijdag, april 22, 2005

Clog golf

Here's a little preview of part of the bachelor party. More later, but for now this is probably enough to convince you that we're no longer in Britain or the US.
The costume is not our choice - it was forced on us by the wedding party. And yes, as you have probably already suspected from these outfits, there wasn't a gay one in the bunch.
The wedding's tomorrow, but we think we're about ready. There will be lots of pictures later. Promise.


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zaterdag, april 16, 2005

The bachelors' day out

Natalie got in yesterday morning in good shape. She's pretty jet-lagged, but she felt good enough to have about 19 cups of coffee and some beer and wine throghout the day and last night. We'll see if her tactic works. She's asleep now.

I think she'll do pretty well today - although we covered a lot of ground yesterday. She was able to see where the wedding will be and we brought her up to speed on what we've done (I think alomst everything) and what still needs to be done (hopefully not too much). She loves the places we've chosen - although she's still not completely sold on the idea of walking down the aisle holding big sunflowers as a representative from Kansas. I suppose there's room for negotiation...

She's still sleeping, although I'll have to wake her after I've finished writing this. Today is our "Bachelor party", although I think it's more like and entire day and evening rather than just a night out. I have no clue what we'll be doing, only that we're to be home today, wearing old clothes. We should have another pair of clothes packed, and at 10 AM something "unexpected" will be happen. Natalie's keeping quiet about it all.

I'll take my camera, so check back later for updates.

Meanwhile, Mom's bringing over a base for our wedding cake topper. We wondered about the topper - we just didn't like what was available. Finally, we found a delftware piece that's of two boys kissing.
How can you beat that? So Mom's going to fix it up into a proper wedding cake topper.

Here's a picture I took yesterday of the Academiegebouw - the place where we'll be married.


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A very flattering shot of Timo, doing what she does best.

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donderdag, april 14, 2005

Atwood Kansas

The link to an open letter written by a webmaster (Daniel) for Atwood, Kansas, has been making the rounds. Daniel replaced Atwood's webpage after they voted by an overwhelming margin to pass a state constitutional amendment banning not only marriage to two persons of the same gender, but also to ban benefits to anyone in a relationship that looks like a marriage but isn't. Daniel was . . . upset. A week later, his letter disappeared.

Read the letter here.

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donderdag, april 07, 2005

The Wedding Dance and the Kansas Amendment

In about an hour, Ian and I will be trying to learn how to dance like a proper gay men. We're doing this because ... well, because we can, I guess. "The first dance" is just one of those things that people do when they get married, and if those downright ugly Wickham Wedding Bells that will be tastefully hidden somewhere around the wedding cake aren't proof enough that we don't easily break with tradition, well, I guess that our wedding dance will be another example.

Meanwhile, back on the farm, Kansas has passed that dang amendment that prevents gay people marrying, as well as preventing anyone enjoying any benefits from being involved in anything that looks like a marriage, but isn't.

I'll post more on this later, but I'm going to go to post this then get on my bike and go to my dance lesson. And you can bet that I'll be thankful that I may dance here, even if I'm not really able to do it like a proper homosexual. And you know what? For me, right now, being allowed to dance at my own wedding is reason enough to live here instead of Kansas. It's just that simple.


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maandag, april 04, 2005

The Budget Traveller's Guide to Sleeping in Airports (and other things)

I wish I had seen this when I was 18. The Budget Traveller's Guide to Sleeping in Airports.
I haven't used this much, but it looks promising. Kayak: a source for navigating online travel information.
Once you get where you're going, a way to find Wi-Fi Hotspots when you're travelling. (Here are the wireless hotspots in Utrecht, btw.)

Then, if you're in Utrecht, here's what's on TV now.


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zaterdag, april 02, 2005

Things that make you go "Hmmmm"

Ian ran across this the other day while looking up something else:


Article 14, Section 265. No person who denies the existence of a Supreme Being shall hold any office in this state.

I, meanwhile, ran across this:
FOR SALE/BARTER: My body in Persistent Vegetative State...

Enough said.

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